FOLLOW THE LEADER! LEADERSHIP ~ Nothing in Life Is Free All dogs, whether timid or assertive, need a leader they can count on and respect. It is essential that your dog look to you for direction. All dogs need a confident support system! Dogs who are shy in public or with strange people or animals aren't always submissive in all aspects of their lives. They may even be pushy and disrespectful with their own pack members. Your dog must look to you for direction and allow you to make decisions where his fear or bossiness may tell him to act otherwise, and most of all he must TRUST you to keep him safe.

So, how do we establish ourselves as leader?
Your dog should look to you as the sole source for comfort, food, attention and play. He should look to you as provider and protector. You cannot force him to respect you, you must earn his respect. He must learn to follow your lead.

"He must elect you as leader of his own free will." - Jan Fennell

 

To control your dog, control his assets: * Control all food - Establish specific feeding schedules. No begging/no sharing. * Control all sleeping areas - leaders get the best resting areas (no dogs hogging the bed or couch!) * Control all games and toys - you say when, with what, for how long - make the rules! * Control all access to areas (doorways, hallways, etc.) - mother may I? Give ATTENTION for behavior you'd like to see repeated!

Food.
Before you put the bowl down, have your dog follow a few simple obedience commands. Ask your dog to wait before giving the "ok" to eat. If your dog tries to dive on the bowl before you give the release, simply pick up the bowl and start over. When your dog stops eating and walks away from the bowl, pick up any remaining food and dispose of it. Establish set meal times, where he eats and how much he gets. No sharing from your own plate. Begging is learned. Your dog must learn to earn. Dogs who aren't given the opportunity to work to earn their living (their food) may see no reason to obey their owner at any time because they have access to what they want without any conditions at all. If your dog fails to sit when asked before you put his dinner down or walks away without eating, quietly put his food away until the next regularly scheduled meal. It's completely up to him whether he eats or not--don't try to convince him. Let him discover where his own best interests lie!

Sleeping arrangements. You don't want your dog to push you out of bed or hog the pillow. You wouldn't like your dog to tell you you can't sit on the couch where you want. Part of shyness can also be co-dependency - the dog who can't cope when left alone. Sleeping plastered against you all night feeds into that pattern. Sleeping on his own bed away from you or in a crate spells it out for the dog that it is you, the leader, who gets the best resting place and also helps him learn to cope on his own. Many non-bossy dogs share furniture with no problems and there's no reason to kick them off the bed if they are polite about sharing. If your dog does share the bed or couch, he should wait patiently for your invitation and lie down where you direct him and get off without complaint. See also: Should my dog sleep in bed with me?

Games & Toys.
The games you play can instill control, build confidence and establish leadership, or un-do ALL the hard work you've done in training. Dogs who push toys at you, demanding that you play NOW have been given the impression that they get to make the rules. Leaders say when, with what, for how long and leaders end up with the trophy! Put favorite toys away and bring them out when YOU want to play.

Rights of access. It's your house. You get to decide who comes and goes, who's accepted and who isn't. For safety as well as leadership, establish the habit of sitting and waiting for permission and being rewarded by the privilege of go in or out of the house or car. Your dog should learn to Yield the Right of Way when in your path, rather than you skirting around him. Put the leash on and teach him to sit and stay as guests enter or leave. Show him you are in control of the situation. Temper tantrums over "not getting to go with you" are also not permitted! Respecting your space. You are not a jungle gym. Dogs who leap willy-nilly uninvited, up, over and on top of you are being rude and disrespectful as are dogs who ram into you in doorways or stairways. Do not allow it. Hanging around begging for food and swiping stuff off counters right under your nose are also signs that your dog may not respect your space or your leadership - or simply that he has no manners!. Ration Attention. It may sound counter-intuitive to pay LESS attention when you want your dog to appreciate your attention more. Leadership is more about rationing and controlling resources than physical displays, in fact in the dog world, the one who does all the posturing is usually the wannabe! Ration all the things your dog values in life and establish the rule that you are how he gets them (toys, games, all food (hand feed) and especially attention. Sometimes the aloof independent types get gushed over for daining to bother to ask for a pat - so they control all interactions, they ask, they get fussed over and then THEY dismiss the peon human when they are done. The human ends up on the "oh goodie his highness noticed me" end of the lower pack member scale. If he pesters you for an ear scratch, ignore him- turn away: "not now." When he wanders off, call him back and give him all the attention you want, but dismiss him before he is has had enough. Leave him wanting more. Measure out his food for the day and have him work for his meals. Call him and do a short training session, feed him his daily rations in small installments for work sessions many times a day. The goal is to have a dog who comes running and is willing and compliant to your requests! Be consistent. The whole family must agree and enforce all rules. Don't make exceptions to your rules; your dog needs a clear and consistant message, 24 hours a day.

See also:
How to Play With Your Dog and Good Games, Bad Games
You and Your Teenage Dog and Time Out!
and From the Dog's Point of View
Mounting Behavior

great articles:

Nothing in Life is Free - Denver DFL
Nothing in Life is Free - Deb McKean
Reconsidering the Dominance Model in Dog Training
When Good Walruses Go Bad - Kathy Sdao
Leading the Dance
Alpha Roll
Dog Psychology - the Dog Whisperer Controversy - by Lisa Mullinax, CPDT
Beyond Cesar Milan

This handout may be reprinted in its entirety for distribution free of charge and with full credit given:
© CAROL A. BYRNES "DIAMONDS IN THE RUFF" Training for Dogs & Their People -
ditr_training @ hotmail.com - http://www.diamondsintheruff.com